• Posing for photo,
• Pretending not to see you…
• Betrayed by a smirk.

Whilst looking through some of my storage today I found this; a Poem I wrote about a decade ago, in my early college days. Cheery stuff. Pretty sure Melcholic isn’t a word though…

2:30PM

Wake in filthy bed
Insects crawl between the sheets
Gnawing hopes away

Mindlessly trawl thoughts
Seek any validation
For me to exist

3:00PM

Inspiration hits
Like a freight train that derails
Without any sound

Put pen to paper
Struggle to articulate
This weird sensation

3:30PM

Writing in Haikus
(If not poor imitations);
Forget the insects

They feast on my blood
I think about syllables
Then scratch them away…


I need to get up
Lest this old bed consume me.
Let these insects starve

Lonely souls cast shadows
Like the ocean crushes sand;
As I march towards the gallows
Would you take me by the hand?

The warmth from rays of sunshine
Lies forgotten in the sea;
Feel the summer turn to winter
As you tie the ropes for me.

No crime could be so wicked,
No lie as insincere,
As I smile this grin so crooked
Knowing well you held me dear.

Yet my heart beats independent,
Though these shadows stalk my soul,
As I hang here unrepentant
With my stories left untold;

That I loved you like no other,
That no other loved me so,
Yet my heart would ever wonder -
Yet my heart would drift alone…

How I started out with nothing
And I’ll finish with the same;
How I never showed my feeling
Whilst I played this foolish game

As my legs thrash ever wildly
Seeking for some means to stand
I hope you don’t stand idly
And you’ll take me by the hand…

Too much Love in the way
-For me to say
-Exactly what I hate.

I can’t seem to find the words;
-I’ll ignore it all
-And hope it goes astray.

I feel insignificant
-And impotent
-But maybe that’s okay…

I’ll follow you aimlessly
-And shamelessly
-To hear what lies you say. 

I’ll watch you drift away from this (To “better days”)
Forget the people that we’ll miss (For “better days”)

Thoughts malformed - Cold and Bored – Uninformed - Insecure
- Decompose ; Composed not I
- Juxtapose ; Opposed am I
- Overthrown ; The well bleeds dry
——————————————————————-A fool am I

Rules made for one not all;
-I’m not enthralled
-Being pulled along your path.

It hurts and corrodes the soul
-But if I go
-You’d tear my world in half!

You likely feel dismayed
-I feel this way
-Though I’ve felt this from the start;

Still, I’ll do what I’m told
-‘Till I can hold
-My head up high and laugh

And we can move away from this (from bitter days)
I’ll find a reason to exist (In “better days”)

Was I wrong? - Are things Okay? - Can I be strong? - Is it too late?
- Decompose ; Composed not I
- Juxtapose ; Opposed am I
- Overthrown ; The well bleeds dry
——————————————————————A fool am I

Comatose, fall asleep
Perceptual holes to fall between
Vivid thoughts to isolate
Universe that I create
Places and times you’re part of me
Existing few and far between
Faces and names that I forgot
To enter a realm where I am god

A river of shit to drown in
a river of shit to drown in

Radiate and brighten the gloom 
Rise from your graves and be consumed
Familiar tones ringing out in my head
Reminding of thoughts I’d left for dead
Merging of planes, cancel out and reject
Logical words and intellect
Patterns and plans play out in my mind
To augment the dream I left behind

A river of shit to drown in
a river of shit to drown in

Ugh… It’s waaaaaay too early in the morning, but I’ve got a job interview. Can’t be helped!

This video certainly makes waking up easier! ^_^

I found the Mapstalgia page last night and ended up spending a little bit too long trying to recreate the first area of Metal Gear Solid from memory. Great idea for a site, so props to whoever set up the page!
Its effectively a community where gamers recreate maps from games entirely from memory. No looking at reference materials allowed!
All things considered I think I got it pretty close ^_^
mapstalgia.tumblr.com